Monday, September 13, 2004

Rules of Combat

Babble on.

Somewhere in one of my memorabelia boxes from the early 90's, there is a photocopied sheet of paper upon which are printed the Rules of Combat. Luckily for me, the internet is one big mother of a memorabelia box (although these Rules differ slightly from those in my admittedly imperfect memory: where's the pithy "A sucking chest wound is life's way of telling you to slow down"? Ah, well.)

I believe a copy of the Rules of Combat should be standard issue to any and all journalists thinking to make a name for themselves by reporting from a combat zone. I would specifically draw their attention to item number two on the internet Rules:
Incoming fire has the right of way.

Until the Western nations can build a small-arms round that turns into Key Lime pie midair before hitting a non-combatant, incoming fire has right of way. It doesn't matter if you're the most popular reporter in the entire Islamoterror world, incoming fire has right of way. Posing importantly in front of a videocamera doesn't make you bulletproof, incoming fire has right of way.

Oh, and by the way, standing next to a burned-out Bradley, surrounded by people celebrating its destruction while being borne down upon by Apache attack choppers may well be a career-limiting move.

"This is Mazen al-Tumeizi, reporting for Al-Arabiya from the inside of a small pine box."

Babble off.


At 11:00 a.m., Blogger John of Argghhh! said...

Key lime pie... that's my quotation of the rotation!


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