It writes itself, as they say...
I was going to pour myself a coffee, get comfortable in front of my keyboard, crack my knuckles, and patiently wade through each asinine portion of the Liberals's plan to 'ban' handguns. In fact, I was going to point out how adding one Liberal inanity to another actually uses synergy to produce a sum of stupidity that is greater than its parts.
But as usual, Tarantino beats me to it. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get a jump on Bob, and to tell you the truth, I'm just not that dedicated. Go, keener, go.
For my money, here's his best line:
Mr. Martin will argue in Toronto that the only way to stop the recent rash of slayings and gang-related violence is to ban handguns and choke off the supply.
Right. Because if I was smuggling guns into Canada (which is, again, already illegal), I would now stop because it's become even more illegal.
That's it in a nutshell, you see.
And if it's handled properly, this is a hanging curveball out over the middle of the plate for the Conservatives. The press release writes itself:
"If the Liberals think that criminals will stop committing violent crimes that are already illegal with smuggled weapons that are already illegal just because the Liberals make it more illegal, they're deluding themselves.
This is a serious issue for Canadians, especially those in urban centres. It deserves a more serious response than an empty campaign gesture that will have absolutely no effect on violent crime.
Instead of wasting time and effort on an ineffectual pseudo-ban, a Conservative government will devote [fill in significant dollar figure] to tighten our border security, improve the technology used to detect and apprehend illegal weapons and the criminals who use them, increase the law enforcement presence in urban areas, and toughen penalties for those who use illegal weapons to commit a crime.
The Conservatives have a plan. The Liberals have a soundbite. The choice for Canadian voters concerned with violent crime couldn't be clearer."
Feel free to poach this one, Stephen. It's on me. Gratis.
Just win the damned election, and get the criminals off the streets.
Update: I took Skippy off the blogroll awhile back because I thought he was being an insulting ass, and gratuitously too. As someone who strongly believes in compassionate conservatism, I still take objection to the crude sentiment he ascribed as the underlying theme to my political philosophy.
But despite all that, he's back on the roll. Why? Posts like this one:
Some will argue, and indeed, some already are arguing, that the fact that a few people enjoy target shooting or like to collect guns can't justify gun ownership. If one life can be saved, they argue, that outweighs what other people want.
Those people are wrong.
Unless, that is, they would agree with a proposal to build a separate highway system for commercial vehicles, and then to limit the speed limit for private automobiles everywhere in Canada to 50 km/h. After all, folks, speed kills, and if we can save even one life by making everyone drive really slowly on the highway, well, that outweighs your desire to get to your destination quickly. Why are you so fucking selfish?
Besides, when he's not completely bitter and twisted - that is to say, when he's only somewhat bitter and twisted - Skippy's funny. I have a soft spot for funny.
Upperdate: Funny, and eloquent when the spirit moves him. I'm not even going to excerpt the post, because I truly want you to read the whole thing.