Monday, January 17, 2005

Recruit Monday Reporting

Babble on.

I just finished watching Rick Mercer's Monday Report - with Hockey Night In Canada on indefinite hiatus, I needed to pick another token Mother Corp show to watch once a week, just to get my tax money's worth.

Truth be told, I actually like the show. That's right, I said it: I like a show produced by the Castro Bootlicking Corporation. I'm sure that admission will have some of my fellow Tories clamouring to kick my latte-quaffing-granola-eating-Trudeau-smooching tail out of the CPC treehouse, and change the secret handshake so I can't bluff my way back in. Whatever.

Tonight I had an extra-special reason to watch Mercer's antics: he was filming at my alma mater, the Royal Military College of Canada. The poor cadets foolish enough to appear on camera with a man who mocks people for a living didn't fare too badly, though, all things considered. Mercer seems to have a soft spot for the Canadian military, which might explain part of my soft spot for his show. Anyhow, highlights for me, the crochety ex-cadet:

1. Officer Cadet Bloggins shovelling back the ice cream. Wait...ICE CREAM?! When the *&^%# did they start serving ice cream? When I was a rook, we thought ice cream was a fairy tale told by cruel fourth-years to get rooks drooling over something they'd never, ever taste. What else do these coddled brats get? Bedtime stories after a tough day at the spa? Bah!

2. Mercer rappelling down the College rappelling tower. What?! Since when did cadets at the proudest and cheapest military institution in NATO need a fancy-schmancy custom-made rappelling wall to practice their skill? When I was a rook, we took apart Abthorpe's steel-frame standard-issue bed, lodged the headboard in the door of his third-floor room as an anchor for our rope, and went Aussie-style (face-first for the uninitiated) down the wall of Lasalle block. If we'd been caught, honest to pete, I think we'd still be marking time. Anyhow, gear that's designed for the job you're doing just isn't a part of the Canadian Armed Forces tradition - you're supposed to make do with too little, too late, like McGyver in a bright scarlet tunic. How precisely does practicing with good kit prepare cadets for life as a real, honest-to-goodness officer in today's CF? I say you train the way you'd fight: with popsicle sticks and a can of lighter fluid. Bah!

3. The College Band playing Trooper's Raise A Little Hell. Pipes, drums, pillboxes, gaiters. Heh. That was pretty cool.

BZ to all involved from 18808. Gimme a beer!

Beer, esses, emma!
TDV!
Who can stop old RMC!
Shrapnel, cordite, NCT!
R! M! C!
Hooah!


Babble off.

3 Comments:

At 2:44 PM, Blogger John the Mad said...

Damian:

Your post is enough to make one weep, ...with laughter. BZ

John

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger VW said...

Rick Mercer's always been supportive of the troops--remember that last week he chided DND for not having a big enough budget for DART. He also headed up a 22 Minutes contingent a couple of years ago to visit the troops in Afghanistan and enable them to send greetings home.

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger Greg said...

Careful B. You are starting to sound like one of the Four Yorkshiremen ;)

 

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